


Texastuck

by AnalyticChaoticism



Series: Texastuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Buckle the fuck up, Cuz this shit, F/F, Gets gay B), M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:38:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7023769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnalyticChaoticism/pseuds/AnalyticChaoticism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A SBURBless world high school AU, wherein the Crarlengberts move to Texas from Washington due to a promotion in work on their Dad's part. Fortuitously John would run into his old pen-pal Dave Strider. The fic follows the Crarlengberts befriending the Strilonde family from the perspective of John. </p><p>This Pepsicola AU was started and is currently illustrated by Sadie AKA http://frackityfrick.tumblr.com/, and their partner - the then logicalchaos - http://analytic-chaoticism.tumblr.com/ AKA myself. I write for it, sans chapter 2, which Sadie wrote and I edited (a one-off occurrence). The idea was created in 2015, and after suggesting anonymously that I write for them as part of a joke, Sadie got excited and, trapped by social obligation and my own terrifying mistakes, I elected to legitimately participate in the fandom for everyone to see and judge. But here we are, a year later, and we're trucking along. It's fun. Hopefully will be updated a lot more regularly than the time between chapter 1 and 2 U_U</p><p>Links to the Tumblr posts will be posted in the notes at the beginning and end of every chapter.</p><p>Chapter length will vary in size.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Familiar Faces in Unfamiliar Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Egbert, new to Texas, decides to visit the beach to establish the familiarity of his old home that he lacks in his new one. While there, he encounters Dave Strider. The old friends reacquaint themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://homestuckficreaderascend.tumblr.com/post/142730482144/frackityfrick-hey-guys-remember-that-little
> 
> Please go check out the art, and reblog if you're able!
> 
> There are some discrepancies between the chapter as is posted here and the Tumblr version. This is just me making some minor adjustments I felt necessary during the editing process as I transfer the piece to the new platform which has been granted to me through hindsight, fresh eyes, and this awesome thing we call 'Rich Text.' There are some longer added sentences too. Again, simple edits. Maybe one day I'll rewrite this whole thing.
> 
> As was said, length varies. This one, and perhaps the next few, might seem a bit short! Bear with us.

I’m sitting on the beach, warm grit of the sand leaving indents on my hands and legs as I lean back, propping myself up. The heat of the sun mitigated by a much welcomed breeze. It blows gently across the white expanse, eroding the numerous dunes dotted around. Waves are breaking against the shore, ocean foam darkening the sand. _“How could this wonderful afternoon be improved?”_ , you may be asking yourself. Well I’ll tell you. Discontent. I sigh, because even though my situation might not seem like an unpleasant one -which, might I add it isn’t. Not by far - I’m still unhappy with it. It hasn’t been long since I, sorry, /WE/ had moved out to nowhere in Texas from our cozy home in Seattle, Washington. Myself, my sister Jane, and my father. The last is the reason we relocated. He’d been steadily climbing the corporate ladder when he and his company found a nice prospective location out here down south of home. It came with a significant raise and a higher position in the business chain and so our bags were packed and off we went. We couldn’t even have waited a year to let me wrap up the whole high school career I had going. NOOOOO let’s just grab our stuff and fly down to southeast Texas I mean why not? Not like I can do much to change things, and complaining internally sure isn’t going to help me whatsoever. My consolation is living close to the sea. It certainly reminds me of home. Yes, who would have thought I, John Egbert, would be homesick? I mean, I didn’t, but it turns out I am. You learn more about yourself every day.

 

My view of the vast blue is interrupted by a boy, about my age it looks, riding a horse along the shoreline. ‘ _Who the fuck rides… a horse on the beach? Is that a… thing, a thing that people actually… do? I suppose it is_ ’ I think to myself as I shrug. As I watch him go, I remember something Jane had said to me, about needing to be adventurous and putting effort into making friends (something which was a bit of a rarity for me). I wasn’t going to get many opportunities to try and cement some relationships before the school year started, and it was best I try and meet some people during the time I had, because it would help ease my transition into my new school environment, yada yada yada. That said, she has a point. So I stand up. And I run after him.

 

He’s taking a pretty leisurely ride, I think. I mean, I’ve seen horses go a lot faster than that before, and he looks pretty relaxed and casual about it. My point is he shouldn’t be too hard to catch up to. In fact he’s slowing down a bit. I’m a few feet behind him, when I trip. My glasses fly off my face, and my new-found blindness prevents me from seeing where they end up landing. I face-plant, face smacking solidly onto the wet sand. I make a very loud 'OOF’ as I finish collapsing. I hear the horse slowing, slowing, and then it stops. Everything is quiet for a second, except for the continuously moving water. I hear a thud, which I assume is the boy jumping off the horse. I hear a succession of thuds which seem to be drawing closer. If this boy does in fact have a heart beating in his chest I assume it’s him running up to help the clumsy oaf that had fallen behind him. Sure enough, a second later, I can once more see light as someone gradually lifts me up. I feel something running down my face, from my nose. I assume it’s blood. It reaches my mouth. Yes. Blood. God I must look like such an idiot. I decide to be the first one to speak, and boy I come up with a real ice-breaker.

“Where are my glasses. I can’t see.”

“Hold on” I hear him say, and suddenly I’m hoisted up and being carried bridal-style.

I’m not too sure what to say. He deposits me by a small mound I can rest on, surrounded by sand of the drier variety. After a short time he returns, and places my glasses in my hand.

"Thanks” I say through the blood, positioning my spectacles so, you know, I can actually _see_.

“No problem” he replies.

He hums for a moment before he procures a handkerchief from his pocket, which he uses to wipe away the blood.

“Put your head back” he instructs. I lean my head back. He puts the cloth up against my nose and tells me to hold it there until the bleeding stops. I thank him again.

“Still no problem” he says.

I squint up at him. He’s a fair-ish boy with equally fair hair, eyes guarded by a pair of aviators. You know, the kind Ben Stiller wears? He’s dressed in a simple red and white check shirt and baggy denim jeans held up with a brown belt, a pair of matching brown boots on his feet.

“You hit that ground hard. Lucky you didn’t chip a tooth.”

“Lucky indeed” I agree.

He gives me a few minutes for my nose to stop leaking and his handkerchief to become thoroughly soaked before we start talking again. He’s sitting there, legs up with his arms wrapped loosely around his knees. Once I feel the bleeding stop I pull the hanky away from my face. It is very bloody. I look at him.

“I’m going to guess you don’t really want this back?” I ask.

He exhales sharply, amused, laugh caught in his throat. You know the thing, the thing you do where you don’t actually even open your mouth but you can tell you think it’s funny because you make the sound. That one? Course you know it who doesn’t.

“Very astute”

“Yeah… Sorry about that” I mumble.

“Ah, don’t be he” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ve got plenty at home. I don’t even really like them, I just carry one on me in case I need it for anything. An emergency or something. What if I, like, cut my leg open in the wild and I needed to fashion a tourniquet to slow the bleeding enough to let me hobble back to civilization?” He raises his eyebrow. I feel like that, if he were to be drawn, people might forget he actually has moderately sized eyebrows. Fair play, considering they're behind the glasses. It's still something I think would be a definite oversight on the part of artists though. Rest assured he does have eyebrows in all, actual fact. Or at least the one. Who knows. 

“Clever thinking” I reply, amused. I too raise my eyebrow (challenge accepted). “Do you have a contingency plan for everything, or just for when you cut yourself open in the wild?” He averts his gaze as he chuckles, returning it to mine with an entertained sigh.

“A smart guy, eh?” he remarks. “Well, mister…?” He lets his sentence hang.

 _'Come on Egbert, this is your chance to sound pop-culture aware and suave. Time to impress. Movie knowledge don’t fail me now._ ’

“Egbert.” I pause for effect, leaning in slightly, as if I were divulging some sort of cool secret. “John Egbert” I drawl coolly, looking at him over the rim of my glasses. So debonair. I hold my hand out.

He looks at me for a second, dead serious. Then he snorts and starts laughing. It takes a moment to regain his composure, and when he does he grasps my hand and shakes it firmly.

“Oh my God did you just quote James Bond?”

“Ummmm… yes, yes I may have” I say meekly.

He sniggers.

“You’re funny bro. Same sense of humour of this guy I used to talk to, like, 4 years ago. He used to… crack me… up…”

“I’m sorry” I say, “but I don’t believe I caught your name.”

I think I already know. We’re still shaking hands. Well, the contact is there, but he’d stopped pumping his arm. It’s just hand holding at this point (I try not to dwell on this thought too long).

“Dave Strider” he says slowly, looking me up and down. I look him up and down.

“No fucking way!” we exclaim in unison. Grins spread across our faces like forest fires.

“What the fuck are the odds?” he exhales, starting to laugh again.

“I have no clue!” I say, voice breathy, as I begin to laugh as well. Rising to his feet, he offers his hand to me this time.

I grab it and he yanks me up into his arms. Our laughs are muffled in each other’s clothes as we lean our heads into each other’s shoulders. The first thing I notice is that even though he appears more on the thin side, he’s actually quite muscular. Yes there is definitely some definition in the abdominal muscles. Yes I can indeed feel that. His arms are similarly toned. I didn’t really peg him as the muscular type, although I suppose that’s what happens when you’ve lived your 17 years of life on a farm. Heavy lifting is part of the job description. I of course had spent _my_  17 years living in a city house with 2 avid bakers (which is quite frustrating given the constant influx of cakes, which I don’t actually want to eat all the time), and I never took up a sport or a gym membership, so my body was slightly more lack luster in comparison. The second thing I noticed was… Well, how exactly would be the best way to phrase this…

He…

God he’s cute. And to think this used to be my best friend. 

 

Okay, I suppose you’re owed an explanation: Back in sixth grade, my school and his school picked a class each to become pen pals with each other. I’m not sure why, but that’s not important to the story. So, I’d been assigned to this kid named Dave Strider, but for whatever reason, we weren’t meant to exchange photos. I think it was so that 'we wouldn’t let their appearance affect our judgement of them as a person’ or something of the sorts, which is a good idea. After a few months, the program had finished, but we stayed in contact. We really bonded. He was one of the best friends I ever had. We never sent each other photos though. Not sure why. I’m sure there were reasons. Unable to have them printed because of inconveniences and forgetfulness and other things getting in the way, that sort of stuff or something. But, after a year, he stopped sending letters. After a month or so later, I stopped sending them too. We never talked after that. But here I am, 4 years later. I never thought I’d hear from Mr. Strider here ever again. I certainly didn’t think I’d run into him riding horses across the beaches of Texas. Funny how life works, isn’t it? His horse whinnies. I’d almost forgotten it was there. Got a bit absorbed in the whole reunion moment. We disengage, and he reaches over and pats her neck.

“She’s getting a bit restless. We have been out for a while, she could probably use a rest. Are you here on holiday?” 

“No. I live here now. Finished unpacking today actually.”

“Really? Rad! We can hang out whenever we want like we always wanted to! Do you live nearby?”

“Yeah, not too far from here.”

“Walking distance?”

“No. My sister’s meant to pick me up.”

“Oh” he says, smirking, “is she your babysitter too?”

“No” I say, punching him in the shoulder. “I just don’t have my car yet, and the one I would have used, she needed, so…”

“I see. Well, if you want, I could take you home. We’d have to drive around for a bit, I want to give her some time to nap.” Insert some neck rubs here. “So if you didn’t have any plans and an afternoon to sacrifice, I’m your guy.”

“I dunno man. I was always told to not accept rides from strangers.” He sniggers.

“Oh, so I’m a stranger am I? I guess you could rely on your sister to cart you around. Or, you could ride in style with me. I brought my truck.” He pulls the keys out of his pocket and jangles them in front of my face.

“Okay then, you’ve convinced me. But promise you wont drive me out to the middle of nowhere and try on anything funny” I say jokingly.

“Don’t worry” he says, patting my back. “You’re safe with me.”

 

He leads the pair of us (myself and the horse, who’s name I learned on our stroll is Dorito) back up the beach to his truck.

“Now let me tell you about this baby. It is actually my child and I love it and if it ever wrecked I would probably die, it’s practically a horcrux. I won it in a farming competition for being fantastic, which wasn’t too hard to pull off.” I laugh. It seems like it’s a day for laughter. You can almost feel the bellows and chortles in the air.

“Oh is that so?”

“Yes” he affirms. “Holden Colarado 4x4 single cab. 3.5 tonne towing capacity, 500Nm torque, 2.8L diesel engine. Yes siree this here is a beautiful vehicle.”

“I’m not too sure what any of that means… but it sounds cool, so I’ll just take your word for it.” He starts to snort, stops himself, then clears his throat. I laugh some more.

“Just get in” he says, opening the door for me.

“Oh such a gentleman. Do you open the door for all the boys you meet?” I tease.

“Only the cute ones” he says deadpan, copping a feel of my ass as I hope in. A squeak catches in my throat. He laughs.

I turn. I frown. The laughter intensifies. I swat his hand away. He shakes his head, smiling, and walks around to his seat as I settle down into mine. I punch him in the arm.

“What was that for?” he complains.

“For not asking to touch my ass.”

He does a little whimper.

“Okay. I’m sorry. John: May I please squish your plush rump?”

 _'Maybe.’_  “No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww c'moooon.” He leans in closer, and gives me his flashiest smile. “You know you want me too.”

 _'Fine, you win.’_ “Most certainly not, and you can put that smile away thank you very much” I say, pushing him back into his seat.

He just chuckles and does his seat belt. I follow suit. Keys are stuck in the ignition, accelerators are revved. The engine purrs.

“You should hear this baby go, she’s beautiful.”

“You’re about to take me for a drive, I will hear it.”

“Lucky you.”

“Lucky me.”

_'Very lucky me.’_

 

At least the open roads here are scenic. We’ve passed a lot of open fields, certainly a lot of greenery. Birds chirp and caw as they fly off the tarmac and find sanctuary in the bushes and trees as we rumble past.

“So, why’d you leave Washington for Texas?” he asks.

“Dad got a job offer, and he took it. So here I am. My sister Jane, he and I, moved out here a few weeks ago. We’re living with my cousins, Jade and Jake. Dad’s job takes him around, so he’s not going to be at home all that much, which is why we’re with Jade and Jake. Jake and Jane only just finished high school last year, Jade and I are seniors.”

“Cool.”

“What about you?” He inhales deeply through his nose before letting it out through his mouth.

“Well. I’d be a senior this year too, except I stopped going to school last year. I had to stay at home and help Dirk and Bro with the farm.”

“Dirk?”

“My twin.”

“You have a twin?”

“Yes, and I dropped out to help him and Bro with the farm. Not like I’m missing much by not going. What can school even teach you at 17? I mean it’s your last year what else is there to say? You’ve been taught the basic and the complex so I’m sure not experiencing my last 4 semesters isn't going to hinder me much in life. The only thing I’m actually missing out on is senior prom, but I don’t care about stuff like that anyway, so it’s fine by me.” His grip on the steering wheel tightens subtly.

“Shame I can’t drop out with you, huh?”

“Yeah, shame. I might be going back some time this year. I dunno. My half-sisters, Rose and Roxy, and their mum, live close to you guys. In fact, I think they own a pet shop around the corner from your house, so that’s funny. Rose is finishing her last year, and Roxy starts college this year.”

“Cool! I’ll swing by their place later and check out what animals they have to offer.”

“I’ll call ahead and tell them they’ve got a VIP coming.”

We drive around talking like this for another 45 minutes or so catching up, before we end up back at my place. I hop out, thank him for the ride, and off he goes. Before now, I had been worried that it might be a bit of a struggle to break through all the long time cliques all the other seniors have, but I have Dave again now! Sure, I might have to befriend him again, but it'll be an easy task surely. We used to get along like Dad with his endless stream of Betty Crocker confectionery mixes. And I uh... It'll be fun too, I think. I forecast fun. 

Yeah...

 

...

 

Time to check out that pet shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://homestuckficreaderascend.tumblr.com/post/142730482144/frackityfrick-hey-guys-remember-that-little
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Constructive criticism is, of course, always appreciated.
> 
> \- AnalyticChaoticism


	2. Cousins? In MY house? It's More Likely Than You Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John, returned from his ride with Dave in chapter previous, is confronted by the rest of the Crarlengbert family (sans Dad).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://homestuckficreaderascend.tumblr.com/post/142967581569/analytic-chaoticism-frackityfrick-hey-guys
> 
> This is the one Sadie wrote and I edited (so if there's a change in style, that's why, and it's confined to this chapter. Also be warned this is probably the shortest chapter that will ever be written for this AU)!

I sigh, pushing the door closed behind me as I step inside our little house. I try to take in everything that just happened. I smile, relieved and finally excited to discover the town some more. But my relief is put at an immediate standstill the moment I look up.

Right after closing the door without a problem, I turn to meet the cold eyes of my sister, who has used her stealth to effectively scare me out of my pants. She has one eyebrow raised, hands on her hips, and one foot tapping impatiently on the wood floor. I notice car keys in her left hand, and I know I’m screwed.

“So...” she says, her lips barely moving from their tight line. Fuck.

I swallow. “Yeah, I um, met an old friend at the beach and...”

“Oh, an old friend?” her voice picks up at the end a little. “That’s odd, I was supposed to meet someone at the beach too, but the funniest thing happened, you really won’t believe it John. He wasn’t there! So funny, since it’s about a half an hour drive from here to that silly beach, and he didn’t have the brain to bring his cell phone so I could make sure he wasn’t off getting kidnapped or something of the sort.” Her gaze is intense, and I swelter under it.

“S-Sorry,” I mumble, my voice wavering as much as my confidence. I barely have the sense about me to notice what she actually said. When it finally reaches my brain, I rub my neck, feeling my face grow red from embarrassment. I always end up making Jane almost have a stroke. It happens too often for sorry to mean anything to her anymore, but I say it nonetheless.

She sighs. Her shoulders slacken and her hands fall from her hips. Her eyes look tired and worn without her anger in them. I feel bad for a moment. It’s surreal seeing her beat like this, but with all things considering, it’s perfectly normal. She’s under just as much change-stress as I am, and I’ve just made things worse for her today. She’s had an hour of driving wasted because of me. But surprisingly, she waves a hand at me, shooing me off to do as I please. I pause, move to hug her, but then she shoots me a look that says ‘try it punk’ and I back off. I smile a little. Even with all the stress, she’s still just as feisty as ever. I slip by her, speed walk into the living room, and get to my room just as she yells “Don’t let it happen again you dork!”

“I won’t!” I yell as I close my door. But I probably will. I lean against my closed door, sighing as I relax against the cool wood. I smile, thinking of my new - well, old-new - friend. What were the chances of meeting Dave? What were the chances of meeting Dave AND of him being hot as fuck? Very small I think. But it’s happened. And he’s probably going to cause me a lot of trouble.

 

I had just closed my eyes with (maybe) the thought of a shirtless Dave coming and picking me up on horseback, when the door opens from the other side.

I fall hard and fast, hitting my shoulders and elbows hard on the wood of the floor. I hope my screech of surprise was manly, and finally gain my senses back so I can blink up at my assailant.

“Y’know, I can’t help the feeling that was hardly my fault though, since you decided the door was a nice place to lean up against. Not one of your smarter ideas, John!.”

Jake stares down at me, his hand still on the door knob. “Still, my manners as a gentleman come first right?” He offers me a hand with a cheeky smile, and I accept it warily, my blood still rushing from the fall. He pulls me up with the force of a velociraptor with maybe 6 wings and some rockets attached, almost ripping my arm out of its socket in the process, and I stumble to my feet.  

“I think you’ve gotten stronger Jake.“ I wince, rubbing my shoulder. Jake smiles wider.

“You reckon?” He flexes his "oh so manly” hairy arm, and it looks like a literal coconut is hot glued to his bicep.“Think it’ll impress the ladies?” He winks, and I swear his teeth do that glint thing like they do in cartoons.

Just before he goes to put his arm down, two hands grab onto it firmly from underneath, and Jade swings into the room next to me like an acrobat. Well I can’t really say ‘like’ one, since she basically is one. Now it’s JAKE’S turn to  rub his arm in pain.

“Warn me next time would ya? Your hands are so sturdy they might rip right through me next time!” Jake punches her playfully in the shoulder, and Jade grins ear to ear.

“That’s my goal!” Her light green eyes twinkle at him, shining with sincerity. It’s no joke, her goal has always been beating up Jake. She’s been getting pretty close recently, and I have the feeling she knows it too. She turns to me, her frizzy hair swirling around her face in a mussed wave of brown.

“So, what’d you do to poor Janey this time huh?” She raises an eyebrow at me. I was unaware to the volume of our confrontation earlier, but apparently both of them had heard it, since Jake added in a soft voice, “Yeah John, what’d ya fuss up?”

I looked from my shoes, up to their eyes, and back down.

“I left the beach with a stranger.”

Jake and Jade mirrored each others wide eyes and taken aback shoulder stance. It was odd, sometimes they seemed less like brother and sister and more like clones.

“Why’d you do that?” Jake asked, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth perking at the edges. “Who was it?”

I blush a little, partly from embarrassment and partly from the memory of who it was. Probably more so the latter. And that sweet embrace jam we got up to… Man that was some great shit.  

“You remember that pen pal project everyone had in middle school?” I asked Jade, and she thought for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah! I wrote to that guy named Carmat or something. And you were writing to, oh what was his name? Dan? Devin?”

“Dave,” I said, smiling a bit. “Guess who was at the beach.”

She gasped. “No way.”

“What way?” Jake asked, his eyes darting between us. “Wait, let me guess. Does... Does your old pen pal live here!?”

I nodded, and Jade jumps about.

“Oh man! He was so cool! I remember you sending me some of the mixtapes he did. I can’t believe he lives here of all places! I could’ve passed him on the streets and not even have known! Oh my gosh, can you introduce me?”

I smile and am about to answer when Jake butts in.

“Wait, so your old pen pal lives…here? Didn’t he have an older brother?”

“Yeah, he has two. He has a twin named…Dirk I think. And his older brother who he calls Bro, but I never knew his real name.” I pause for a second. “I think Bro is about our Dads age actually.”

“So Dirk would be your age?” Jake asks.

“Uh, yeah?”

Jake just crosses his arms and thinks to himself about that fact. Probably contemplating the chances of Dirk being single. Then he smiles, turns, and goes to put his boots on with Jade.

I roll my eyes and it suddenly dawns on me that I have no idea where Dave lives. He mentioned a farm, but with every square mile being farmland, that’s not much information. I guess I have to let Jade and Jake in on that before they get too excited. I take a breath, ready to spend the rest of my day sitting inside, but just as I’m about to go be the bearer of bad news, I remember the last thing Dave mentioned. Pet store. Guess we’ll be taking a small detour. With 2 extra people. And who knows, maybe we could run into more than just cats and dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://homestuckficreaderascend.tumblr.com/post/142967581569/analytic-chaoticism-frackityfrick-hey-guys
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is appreciated.
> 
> \- AnalyticChaoticism


End file.
